demon cat

Today I am feeling pretty damn good. Granted pretty energy-less but a hell of a lot better than I have felt any day this week so I decided to go for a walk with my ma and dog, and incidentally the cat, it decided to follow us the whole way. Wierdo.

Anyhoo, out we go, ready to embrace the sunny day when we realise we did not bring any house keys and I had left the door off the latch. So we thought sod it we may as well walk now, so off we trotted dog and cat in toe. About 10 minutes later we reached what we call the roundabout which in case you hadn't gathered is where we turn around and come back. The cat decided very cleverly, to get stuck in a sodding bramble bush, mewing as loudly as a cat can possibly mew. So being the nice mother to cat I can be I climb into this god forsaken bush to get the cat out. A few pokes and prods later (thanks bush) I grabbed her and tried to climb out.

Now, climbing IN had been painful enough, climbing out whilst holding a mewing cat that seemed to do nothing but complain about my rescue technique and scratch the crap out of anything near it (unfortunately that was me) was NOT fun. I got to the other side a bit worse for wear to say the least with bleeding arms. I look like I have been self harming, you know the kind I mean. 14 year old pre-pubescent 'I want to die' and 'nobody understands me' style cuts inflicted whilst drinking straight vodka, a spliff hanging out of your mouth whilst rocking backwards and forewards to Nirvana. Claiming that only Kurt Cobain could ever understand the pain your in.

Wow I am glad to be out of that phase.

Anyway, I got myself and the cat out of the stupid brambles when, genius child that the cat truly is, it ran back into it again. What on earth is wrong with this cat? I mean really? Are you shitting me? I claimed to not care very passionately with much gesticulation to my mother and we continued whilst listening to Jessie(the demon cat) mewing her evil heart out from the middle of a massive load of spiky death plants.

Anyway we rounded the corner, but my conscience got the better of me yet again. So off I went into a less dense patch of shrubbery to rescue demon cat. This extradition mission was far more successful than my prior attempt. Mainly because amidst the swipes and scratches that demon cat so kindly blessed me with, I held on for dear sanity.

I walked with her at arms length (covered in mud may I add as I had to crawl under a barbed wire fence) until we reached the house. Which is a fairly long time to have to grip a cat for, especially when it's flailing like it's being forced into a tub full of water.

I am not demon cats biggest fan right now, to the point where I have depersonalised it. No more is she a she or is she Jessi. Nope. It is now demon cat.

Until it brings me a pidgeon or a rabbit, then I feel proud that my cat understands what I crave out of life.